Tag Archives: TTC

This is it

A few weeks ago we sent in the official notarized form asking Big Scary Fertility Center to destroy to remaining vials of sperm that we had stored there.  This is it.  We’re done with TTC.  It’s an incredible relief to not be in the midst of that struggle.  And I’m so grateful that we are walking away with the family size that we wanted. It didn’t happen the way we’d pictured or in the time-frame we had planned, and there are still scars there (especially for Roo).  But every day I feel grateful that we have Tadpole and Sprout, (even when they are both screaming at the tops of their lungs simultaneously as they were tonight!).

Of course, like lots of bloggers before me, finishing TTC means trying to figure out what the purpose of this blog is.  After some drama-filled months (pregnancy! job layoff! new baby! new job!), things have settled down quite a bit.  There are (knock on wood) no more big changes in our future.  So what do I blog about?  I enjoy writing about the little daily joys and struggles that fill our lives now. Writing about them helps me to be more present to them now, and I hope will help me have a record of this fleeting time for the future.  But I’m not sure how interesting those things are to anyone else.

I’m also not sure what tone to take.  I don’t know how many of my readers are still TTC or are trying to make peace with a smaller family than they wanted.  But I think a lot about any who might be.  Taking too celebratory a tone seems like gloating, like going on and on about the amazing vacation I’m having to the friend whose flight to the same destination was cancelled.  But complaining too much doesn’t seem fair either, given that I know we’re incredibly lucky to be where we are.  And yet, if I avoid both the fabulous things and the hard things about my life, what do I write about?

I’m also struggling with the logistics of finding time to blog.  Our family has settled into our new routines and figured out how to get all of us out the door in the mornings (mostly) on time.  Unfortunately, the secret seems to be doing a lot of tasks (packing lunches, showering, etc.) in the evenings rather than the mornings.  This means less free time in the evening, which means less time for blogging.

I’m still not sure where this blog will go from here.  I’ve found this space useful over the last two-plus years, both as a place to write about my thoughts and feelings and as a place to get feedback from others.  So I don’t think I’m ready to give it up.  I’ll try out some things in the next few weeks/months and see how it goes.  I’d also love to hear your thoughts on what you’d like to see here, or how you’ve navigated the transition to a post-TTC blog.

In the spirit of trying things out, and holding onto the small moments, here are a few recent favorites:

  • Snuggling with Sprout every night after I give her her dream feed before I go to bed.  Her whole body is so limp and trusting.  I love the feel of my cheek against her soft one, her soft breath against my neck.
  • Sitting at the dining room table with our little family after dinner a few days ago.  Tadpole “helped” me bounce Sprout on my lap, she looked down at him and giggled her funny squeaky giggle, which led to laughter all around.
  • Sprout and Roo working together last weekend to plant some flowers in the window boxes of his playhouse in our backyard.  He took the task so seriously and was so excited about every step of the process.
  • Sprout and Tadpole having long conversations in the back seat that consist entirely of blowing raspberries at each other.

This is our life now.  We’re tired, but so lucky.

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Filed under blogging, Parenthood, Sprout, Tadpole, TTC #2, Uncategorized

Not a fan

Things of which I am not a fan:

Working five days a week  On weekdays I only see Sprout for about an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening.  She’s changing so fast that it feels like the kid I see each weekend is a totally different one than the weekend before.  She learned to roll from back to front while at daycare last week, and I didn’t see her do it until Saturday.  It’s hard to only have two days a week when we really get to hang out, and those days are full of chores, laundry, trips to the grocery store, etc.  I know that there are plenty of parents who have this schedule (or worse), but it’s still hard.

Power struggles with Tadpole in the mornings Tadpole was doing better at getting himself dressed in the mornings without a fuss, but lately things have gotten tough again.  Some mornings he crawls back into bed and pulls the covers over his head.  On other mornings it takes a threat to take away some important privilege before he puts on each item of clothing.  We had a reward chart, and that seemed to help for a while, but I think we need to adjust it somehow in order to get his attention again.

Things of which I am a fan:

Weekends  In my pre-kid life, weekends were a time to fit in as many fun activities as possible.  This past weekend we went to one event on Saturday and went to the grocery store on Sunday.  Other than that, the four of us hung out at home, and it was so nice.  There was time to catch up on some chores (I think Roo did 7 loads of laundry!), and also time to just be present to each other.

Sunny days and springtime Our little family spent a lot of Sunday afternoon outside in our yard, which was lovely.  With the cold and snowy/rainy winter that we’ve had, it feels like Sprout has hardly seen the sun!  But this weekend she got to roll around on a blanket in the grass.  And the rest of us did some work in the garden and set up our hammock.  Unlike last year, when Tad appropriated most of Roo’s tools and then did almost nothing useful with them, this time he actually did quite a bit of good weeding.

Our many-gendered boy On Saturday we went to a fairytale festival at the local library. There were a variety of costumes that kids could try on, and Tad went back to the costume booth multiple times and created a variety of outfits for his alter egos, “Princess Jack” and “an armored pirate fairy”.  At various points he had on a tutu, a knight’s hat, a purple princess dress, pirate face paint, armor, fairy wings, and a magic wand.

Familiar routines  It hasn’t taken as long as I thought it would to get back into some of our pre-Sprout routines.  I’ve made pancakes or waffles with Tad on several recent weekend mornings.  And we’re back to our old Sunday nights, which include me cooking a big dish for the week and weekly baths for the kids (yes, weekly).

Watching Tadpole and Sprout together Tad loves to be wherever Sprout is, and is constantly touching her, talking to her and making faces at her.  He is so full of affection for her that he often needs reminders to hug her more gently or to give her a little space.  One of his favorite things (and mine!) is when they have a bath together.  On Sunday night in the tub he gently poured water over her and sang her little made up songs.  And she just grinned and grinned and kicked her legs with joy as she looked up at him.   This is the kind of thing I dreamed about when we were TTC, and it’s magical to have a part of that dream come true.

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April 7, 2014 · 9:23 pm

Anniversaries

We’ve had more crappy news in the job/$$ department, and I’m working on a post about that.

But tonight I am grateful for Sprout.  We went to the annual potluck at Tapole’s preschool this evening.  Two years ago when we went to this event, we had just found out that our first attempts at TTC #2 had resulted in a chemical pregnancy.  You know where a really crappy place to be is when you’re feeling sad about not being pregnant?–a preschool family potluck!  They tend to be full of adorable babies and moms who are pregnant with their second (or third or…) kid.

Last year at the potluck we sat with one of Tad’s classmate’s families who had an adorably-chunky several-month-old baby.  Roo and I both got a turn to hold her, which was delicious but also sad, since we still had no idea when or if we would have our own.

But this year I was one of the pregnant women, chatting with other parents about due dates and baby clothes.  I wondered if there were any families there this year for whom the event was hard.  Given that there were dozens of families in the room, there probably were.  I hope that all of those families find their way to the family size that feels right to them, even if (like us), the path to get there isn’t the one they had imagined.

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Filed under Pregnancy, TTC #2, Uncategorized

2/100/30

Just over two years ago, on September 28th, 2011 I put up my first ever blog post.  Today I am putting up my 100th post (which means I’ve been almost-meeting my goal of posting once a week).  And last Wednesday I hit week 30 of pregnancy.  Lots of milestones!

I’ve been going back through old posts and thinking about all that these last two years have included.  In September 2011 we were getting ready to start trying to get Roo pregnant.  I had recently started a new job.  Tadpole was 2 1/2 and had just begun attending the preschool where he is now in pre-K.  I was excited about starting to blog, but nervous about putting my thoughts and feelings out in the world.

One year ago we were in the midst of TWW #5, and almost a year into our attempts to have a second kid.  We were frustrated at how long and drawn-out the process had been, but hopeful that the switch to Big Scary Fertility Center would make a difference.  Roo and I often felt alone, since few of our friends had struggled with fertility.  But the community of bloggers I had found helped immensely.

And now we’re here.  We’re (hopefully!) about two months from meeting this longed-for, dreamed-of kiddo.  She’s in my belly and not Roo’s, which was an option were just starting to think about a year ago.  But she’s almost here!  We’re so lucky to have made it to this point.

And I continue to be grateful to this community.  The thing that I was most struck by in re-reading old posts was the support that I’ve received all along the way.  Thank you for listening to my TTC angst, laughing at silly stories about Tadpole, giving advice about the TTC process, commiserating when we received yet another BFN, celebrating when we finally got a BFP, offering suggestions about parenting a preschooler, and patiently listening to my whining about the aches and pains of pregnancy.  As tough as our 1 1/2-year slog through TTC was (and I know many folks have much longer and harder journeys than ours), it would have been infinitely more difficult without having companions along the way to kvetch to and get advice from.  I think of you all often, especially those of you still struggling to conceive or to make peace with the size family you have.

Even when folks don’t comment, it makes a difference to know that someone is reading what I’ve written.  For anyone reading who doesn’t usually comment, no pressure, but I’d love to find out more about you.  How did you find my blog?  What do you enjoy reading about?

And to all of you, thanks so much for your companionship through the ups and downs of the last two years.

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Filed under blogging, Parenthood, Tadpole, TTC #2, Uncategorized

Bins

I now have a few hours on Friday mornings to Get Things Done while Tad is at preschool.  The plan this week was to use that time to sort through Tad’s old clothes in order to get things organized and ready for the baby.  So I hauled up from the basement the six (!) giant plastic bins that held all of Tad’s outgrown clothes and toys, plus the bin of very pink hand-me-downs from my nieces that we just received.  I spent more than two hours sorting them into piles by size and then folding them and putting them neatly back in the bins.  It was satisfying to check one more thing off of the pre-baby to-do list, but the whole process also brought up lots of different feelings.

My most prominent reaction was relief at finally getting to do this.  During the year-and-a-half that we were unsuccessfully trying to conceive, I had moments of hating that we had these bins.  These hopeful stores of newborn onesies and bouncy seats and nursing cover-ups felt mocking.  And as we had to add bins for Tad’s 2T clothes and then his 3T ones, the number of bins seemed to represent the growing age gap between Tad and a potential sibling.  But now, finally, I could pull out all of the tiny pastel outfits and dream about this girl in my belly wearing them.  I could picture her in her brother’s hand-me-downs at six months, 18 months, three years.  It was so joyful to finally be here!

Of course, imagining our soon-to-be-born child in the clothes happened simultaneously with memories of her big brother wearing them–“oh, I remember when he wore that to the zoo” or “we have a picture of him wearing that on our porch on a beautiful spring day” or “I know where that stain came from!”  I picked up one particularly soft and colorful onesie and had a flashback to holding my son when he was wearing it, back when he was chunky and bald, years before he was the long, lean preschooler who he is now.  I could feel that toddler’s chubby round body.  I love the boy who we have now, but in that moment I also missed toddler who we used to have.

And then there was the moment when I came across a few loose-fitting dresses of Roo’s.  I was baffled about why they were in with the baby stuff, but then I saw the maternity skirt folded up with them.  These were a few things that she had put aside to wear when pregnant.  So like many other moments of this pregnancy, the joy at finally preparing to welcome our baby girl shares space with sadness that Roo isn’t the one carrying Sprout.  For me (and I think for Roo too), the joy continues to grow and the sadness gets less sharp.  But it’s certainly still there.

Do you have any objects that represent your TTC journey?

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Filed under Pregnancy, TTC #2, Uncategorized

Gratitude

Here, in no particular order are things for which I am feeling grateful:

A lovely Saturday afternoon/evening with my family.  On this beautiful not-quite-too-hot summer day we went to a cultural festival where we heard gospel music, got Tad’s face painted, tried out drums and banjos, and watched a blacksmith.   Tad was fascinated by all of it, especially anything musical.  Then we wandered around a downtown neighborhood, watched boats, got Tadpole a flourescent-blue-colored scoop of ice cream, and danced to our favorite street musician (with one family member putting on some spectacular sugar-rush-inspired dance moves!).
My lovely and clever partner. Roo suggested that we replace our recently-defunct dehumidifier two weeks ago, which happened to be one week before we had days and days of crazy storms, each of which flooded our basement.
A light at the end of the tunnel. I’m finally (at 14 1/2 weeks) starting to feel less nausea. I’m definitely not 100%, and still have some pretty miserable evenings. But I also have some days in which I feel almost normal!
Zofran.  It hasn’t done much about the nausea.  But when I’m feeling queasy it make a huge psychological difference to know that I’m not going to actually throw up.
Roo’s parents. We’re so lucky that this set of grandparents lives in town and is eager to be involved with our family. Roo and I had a daring night out at a concert on Wednesday night so Tad spent the night at his grandparents’. By all accounts, everyone had a fabulous time. I’m so grateful that Tad has such a good connection with them, that they are willing to help us out, and that they are people I generally feel comfortable entrusting my child too. I worry that he’ll have 6 desserts per meal, but that seems like a pretty typical kids-at-grandma’s thing.
I’m, like, still pregnant. It’s still hard to believe. I was looking back over some old posts recently and remembering how awful it was when we were in the midst of TTCing. Even now it’s hard to remember just what it felt like to not know how long the process would take.  It’s still hard to believe that we’re not there anymore. There’s a really really good chance that we’ll bring home a baby this winter and be able to be done with this crazy process. We can start using the baby stuff that has been stored in plastic bins in our basement for the last five years. And when we’re done using it, we can pass it on! We’ll be done! We won’t be waiting anymore.  This waiting has been such a huge part of the last year and a half that I’m still getting used to the fact that we’re finally moving on.
YOU! The other thing that struck me as I looked back at old posts was all of the supportive comments from readers. Your offerings of commiseration, hope, advice and support made (and continue to make) such a difference! As much as the TTC process has sucked, one positive thing that has come from it is my connection to this community.  I’m thinking of all of you.  And I’m thinking especially of those who are still in the midst of the struggle and hoping that your good news will come soon.

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Filed under blogging, Pregnancy, TTC #2, Uncategorized

Settling in

I think I’ve been in denial about this pregnancy. I keep being startled when I look down at my stomach and see this big round belly.

Part of this may be because feeling so crappy for so many weeks on end has made me not really want to be in my body. I’m finally starting to feel a little better at least some of the time. But that means coming back to a body that has changed a lot since I last really inhabited it. I bumped my belly into Roo the other day when going through a doorway sideways–I was sure I had plenty of room, but clearly did not! I started telling my coworkers last week and I had thought most of them would be surprised–instead several said that they had suspected for a while and one even said, “I was wondering when you were finally going to tell us.” I’ve even had the first pregnancy-related comment (along with the first weird and unsolicited advice) from a stranger.

I also think part of what’s making it hard to wrap my head around this pregnancy is the fact that I’ve spent the last four years believing that I would never be pregnant again. And the time between considering trying to get pregnant, deciding I was ready to try, and getting pregnant was really short. In late January of this year we were still hoping for a positive result from what turned out to be Roo’s last IUI. We were considering switching to trying with me, but still talking through what that might be like. And by the end of March I was pregnant. I’m so grateful that this last part of our journey didn’t drag on and on. But it makes the fact of my pregnancy harder to really settle into.

It’s a weird place to be. I’m so grateful that we are finally on our way to having this longed-for and dreamed-of second kid. But I haven’t particularly enjoyed being pregnant thus far. And between the various spotting scares I haven’t let myself really believe that this was going to result in an ongoing pregnancy and even an actual baby. But now we’re at almost 13 weeks. We’ve seen and heard the heartbeat a bunch of times. My belly is getting larger by the day. It’s all starting to feel a lot more real.

Yesterday I went to a new thrift store that just opened near our house, because I currently have one pair of shorts that fits and I thought the summer might be more enjoyable if I had a few more. So I spent some time trying on maternity clothes. I got some shorts and tank tops. But I also bought a few cold-weather pieces. I pictured myself this fall wearing the cute brown sweater, or the nice purple shirt. Even more daring, I looked in the baby clothes and bought a Christmas onesie that says “Mommy’s Little Elf”. It felt important, in this time of settling into my pregnancy, that I recognize that this baby also belongs to Roo (who is the “Mommy” in our family). But it also felt really daring to purchase something for this baby. Of course we have boxes full of Tad’s outgrown clothes waiting in our basement, but actually purchasing something feels different.

We’ve wanted for so long to be here–taking care of Tad while preparing for the arrival of his sibling. But where we’ve ended up (with me pregnant instead of Roo) is different than where we thought we were headed. Roo and I are both still grieving that change. But I’m also going to try to start enjoying the fact that we are finally here.

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Filed under Pregnancy, TTC #2, Uncategorized

Looking up

The spotting stopped around the time of my last post, but it still felt like a very long 10 days between that time and my neuchal translucency ultrasound yesterday. There hasn’t been much else that feels worth reporting. I continue to feel nauseated (I know it’s the gramatically correct word–but the word itself makes me feel a little queasy) sick. No actual vomiting (thanks, Zofran!), but lots of misery.

And of course lots of continued anxiety, despite the fact that continuing to feel so crappy was a good sign. It felt like the ultrasound yesterday, at 12w1d, was one last hurdle to clear before we could breathe a sigh of relief (no guarantees, I know, but really good odds of a good outcome if things looked good at that point). But making this into “the final frontier” meant it also felt like there was a lot riding on this.

The appointment was early (7:30am), so I had a rushed breakfast with Tad, over which he not-so-helpfully asked a series of questions, including “what happens if the baby’s heart isn’t beating fast enough.” As I sat in the waiting room at the schnazzy imaging center an hour later, I realized I was spacy in a way that usually lets me know that working really hard not to notice some emotion (picture a little kid with fingers in her ears going, “lalalalala I can’t hear you”). Logically I knew that the odds were in our favor, but I was really worried about what the ultrasound would reveal. After filling out reams of paperwork I was finally called back by a sweet and chatty ultrasound tech. When she asked about complications I mentioned the spotting, and she talked about having spotting during an otherwise perfectly healthy pregnancy and being so upset she spent a lot of time crying at work.  The tech found Sprout quickly and I got a glance at the flicker in his/her middle while she started measuring things. Finally she got to the heartbeat and played the “whoosh-whoosh-whoosh” for me. Best sound in the world! The tech noticed that I was tearing up and said, “oh, I should’ve known you’d want to see that part first with the spotting and all.” Well yes, that would have been nice but was rather beside the point at that point.

Sprout was measuring just right at 12w2d. And the tech pointed out two arms, two legs, a nasal bone, a two-lobed brain, the bladder (which she said meant the kidneys are working), and the stomach. It was amazing! We didn’t do an NT scan with Tad, so I hadn’t known what to expect–it was fascinating how much they could see on a 5-centimeter-long fetus, and amazing how much of Sprout is already there.   

The next part was less fun as there followed lots of confusion about the bloodwork piece of the NT scan–whether it had or hadn’t already been done at my doctor’s office, which lab was in-network for my insurance, etc. They finally determined that it hadn’t yet been done so I waited a while longer before finally getting that part taken care of.

I didn’t get the results of the scan yesterday because they have to combine the ultrasound results with the bloodwork. But the tech seemed pleased with everything that she did see. Also, I happened to remember the measurement what she’d recorded for the neuchal translucency and some googling today revealed it to be smack dab in the middle of normal.

On the way out they had me schedule my 20 week anatomy scan.  Like they assume that this pregnancy will just keep chugging along and I’ll be back in 8 weeks to see more amazing pictures.  This is starting to feel a lot more real! I’ve gotten in the habit of prefacing every thought about the baby with some sort of disclaimer–“if we get that far,” “if nothing bad happens in the meantime”, “God willing and the creek don’t rise”, etc. I wonder when I’ll be ready to stop doing that.

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Filed under Parenthood, Pregnancy, Tadpole, TTC #2, Uncategorized

Dear Sprout

Dear Sprout,

There’s no need to start giving us heart attacks now–there will be plenty of time for crazy hijinks after birth. Please keep this in mind.

Love,

Yer Moms

I went to the bathroom at 4:30am on Sunday night/Monday morning and discovered I was having some bright red spotting. Cue panic. I was finally able to fall asleep again, but not before spending some time pondering the best way to let friends and family know if we were having a miscarriage.

I called my OB office first thing in the morning and, over the course of multiple phone calls talked to three different people who gave four different answers about what to do. In the end I insisted that no, I did not want to just “take it easy and drink lots of fluids,” nor did a trip to the ER (which a different person had mentioned) seem to make sense. But I did want to come in for an ultrasound that day, and one of the various people answering the phone was willing to make it happen. It was a long wait between 4:30am and 2pm when I got to see the doctor, but I mostly managed to keep from freaking out too much. I reminded myself how horribly nauseated I had been the night before (even worse than usual). I kept repeating to myself that many many women with spotting go on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies/babies. And the fact that the spotting slowed and turned more brownish than red helped a lot.

Roo came with me to the appointment and held my hand as Dr. H pressed hard on my belly with the ultrasound and brought up a picture of little Sprout. Dr. H pointed out the flickering hearbeat and the crown-rump measurement that was right on track. She didn’t find the cause of the bleeding, which makes me a little nervous. I appreciated that she didn’t seem upset at our appointment having been squeezed in (even though one of the people I’d spoken to earlier lamented Dr H’s overflowing schedule and seemed to think that my coming in was completely unnecessary). I liked that Dr. H had me schedule an extra visit in two weeks (after the NT scane next week) just so I could have some reassurance that things were still going well. I did not appreciate the fact that she used the phrase “threatened miscarriage” about 17 times in the course of the conversation. I get it that any bleeding is cause for concern and the fact that Sprout looked good yesterday isn’t any guarantee about the future. But I feel like she could have communicated that without saying “miscarriage” quite so many times.  Roo kept trying to get a sense of how much more likely a miscarriage was with this kind of spotting, but the doctor, frustratingly, only kept repeating that she couldn’t promise anything either way.

The spotting has almost totally stopped now, and I’ve decided to believe that this is just another bump in our already-bumpy road to parenthood. There’s lots of things that point to this pregnancy going well (my crazy nausea, seeing Sprout’s heartbeat, good growth, etc.). I know there are no guarantees. If something happens we will deal with it. But at the moment I have decided that there’s no reason to think that there’s anything going on other than a frisky kid causing trouble already.

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Filed under Parenthood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

Telling

Apologies again for my lack of posting and commenting. I’m at 10w2d and I continue to feel queasy a lot of the time. It’s particularly bad in the evenings, which means I’m not getting much of anything done besides going to work, coming home, and going to bed. I’m trying really hard to remember that all of this is a good sign that the pregnancy is going well. But it’s hard as I’m dragging myself through week after week of feeling so awful. I’ve decided that I’m more than half-way through this part (if it lasts from weeks 4 through 14 then I’ve done 6 weeks and “only” have 4 to go). Pleaseohplease let it at least improve somewhat by 14 weeks. It’s hard to describe the misery, and hard to even really remember how awful it is in the moments when things get a little better (which may have something to do with why I volunteered to try getting pregnant again in the first place…) For added fun, Roo has had strep throat and Tad has a cold that won’t go away. We’re having a hard time keeping our heads above water in terms of dishes, laundry, etc.

One bright spot in all of this was telling Tadpole about Sprout last Saturday evening. Tad had a few out-of-the-blue meltdowns that day, and Roo and I wondered if he sensed that something was up and was nervous about not knowing what it was. Plus, we plan to tell Roo’s brother’s family at a family party this weekend and wanted to tell Tad the news first. I think all of my justification above is my nervousness that we told Tad too early, but it really just felt like the right time.

At any rate, his reaction was adorable!

Roo: Tad, guess what Momma has in her belly.

Tad: A baby?

Roo: Yep!

Tad: (eyes wide and a big grin and his body quivering with excitement) Really??! For real???!!

Roo: Yep.

Tad: Yay!!! (brief pause) I don’t want to eat this, I want something else for dinner.

A few moments later (after a minor meltdown about us not agreeing to get him something else for dinner) he said (completely unprompted) “I’m going to be a big brother!” and a few minutes after that made the very businesslike pronoucement that “we are going to need a name for the baby” and started surveying us on potential names.

There were also some hard questions about why Mommy doesn’t have a baby in her belly and if she will one day. Roo and I explained “that’s just not how it happened,” and he seemed satisfied with that answer. But it was still hard. Another bittersweet moment.

At breakfast a few days later Tadpole was lobbying for Sprout to “come out soon.” It’s going to be a long wait until December for all of us (another reason to have delayed telling Tad). But I’m glad that we told him. It feels good to no longer have this huge secret from one of the people I live with. And I think he feels better knowing rather than wondering what the whispering and coded conversations are about.

As we suspected, telling Tad has meant the end of our having control over the information. On Sunday night we were hanging out with our next-door neighbors (whose baby is due in September) on our front porch, and talking about their baby reminded Tad to tell them about ours. And then our across-the-street neighbors (with whom we have a complicated relationship described here) came home, and Tad promptly called across the street, “my Momma has a baby in her belly!”. They laughed, said “congratulations” and (probably based on the expressions on Roo’s and my faces) scolded us, “if you didn’t want him to tell us, you shouldn’t have told him!” On Saturday night Tad spent a lot of time thinking about telling his friends at school his news. I don’t know if he has actually remembered to say anything while at school, but I’m sure it’s only a matter of time. And he told just about every random stranger we talked to as we went about our business today inlcuding other parents in the waiting room at the doctor’s office and a friendly lady sitting at a nearby table at the coffee shop.

I’m nervous about so many people starting to know (not so much the coffee shop strangers but more the acquantances who we’ll see again). But I’m trying to remember that everything has gone really smoothly so far and the odds of anything happening at this point are low. And for now I’m trying to make decisions based on the way we will want to have handled things if we do have a healthy baby in December, rather than based on assuming the worst possible outcome.  Even if it’s still hard to believe that I’m really pregnant. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that these strange and sometimes uncomfortable things happening in my body are anything other than a very long bout of the flu and/or a tapeworm.

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Filed under Pregnancy, Tadpole, TTC #2, Uncategorized