Tag Archives: Blogging

This is it

A few weeks ago we sent in the official notarized form asking Big Scary Fertility Center to destroy to remaining vials of sperm that we had stored there.  This is it.  We’re done with TTC.  It’s an incredible relief to not be in the midst of that struggle.  And I’m so grateful that we are walking away with the family size that we wanted. It didn’t happen the way we’d pictured or in the time-frame we had planned, and there are still scars there (especially for Roo).  But every day I feel grateful that we have Tadpole and Sprout, (even when they are both screaming at the tops of their lungs simultaneously as they were tonight!).

Of course, like lots of bloggers before me, finishing TTC means trying to figure out what the purpose of this blog is.  After some drama-filled months (pregnancy! job layoff! new baby! new job!), things have settled down quite a bit.  There are (knock on wood) no more big changes in our future.  So what do I blog about?  I enjoy writing about the little daily joys and struggles that fill our lives now. Writing about them helps me to be more present to them now, and I hope will help me have a record of this fleeting time for the future.  But I’m not sure how interesting those things are to anyone else.

I’m also not sure what tone to take.  I don’t know how many of my readers are still TTC or are trying to make peace with a smaller family than they wanted.  But I think a lot about any who might be.  Taking too celebratory a tone seems like gloating, like going on and on about the amazing vacation I’m having to the friend whose flight to the same destination was cancelled.  But complaining too much doesn’t seem fair either, given that I know we’re incredibly lucky to be where we are.  And yet, if I avoid both the fabulous things and the hard things about my life, what do I write about?

I’m also struggling with the logistics of finding time to blog.  Our family has settled into our new routines and figured out how to get all of us out the door in the mornings (mostly) on time.  Unfortunately, the secret seems to be doing a lot of tasks (packing lunches, showering, etc.) in the evenings rather than the mornings.  This means less free time in the evening, which means less time for blogging.

I’m still not sure where this blog will go from here.  I’ve found this space useful over the last two-plus years, both as a place to write about my thoughts and feelings and as a place to get feedback from others.  So I don’t think I’m ready to give it up.  I’ll try out some things in the next few weeks/months and see how it goes.  I’d also love to hear your thoughts on what you’d like to see here, or how you’ve navigated the transition to a post-TTC blog.

In the spirit of trying things out, and holding onto the small moments, here are a few recent favorites:

  • Snuggling with Sprout every night after I give her her dream feed before I go to bed.  Her whole body is so limp and trusting.  I love the feel of my cheek against her soft one, her soft breath against my neck.
  • Sitting at the dining room table with our little family after dinner a few days ago.  Tadpole “helped” me bounce Sprout on my lap, she looked down at him and giggled her funny squeaky giggle, which led to laughter all around.
  • Sprout and Roo working together last weekend to plant some flowers in the window boxes of his playhouse in our backyard.  He took the task so seriously and was so excited about every step of the process.
  • Sprout and Tadpole having long conversations in the back seat that consist entirely of blowing raspberries at each other.

This is our life now.  We’re tired, but so lucky.

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Filed under blogging, Parenthood, Sprout, Tadpole, TTC #2, Uncategorized

Meta

As I am new to this blogging thing, I have been thinking a lot about how to decide what to post, and would love input from more experienced folks. 

I’m excited about my new blogging project, and sometimes want to tell everyone I know.  But then I imagine someday wanting to vent here about certain people or situations, and that makes me hesitant to tell them.  Do I tell my mom?  My mother-in-law?  A good friend with whom I sometimes clash?  But THEN I consider that nothing posted on the internet is really completely private.  So maybe I’ll never feel comfortable posting anything that involves venting about anyone.  In which case I might as well let them read it.  Help!  How do you decide who to tell about your blog, and how does that affect what you decide to post?

Then there is the whole question of Tadpole’s reaction to this.  I plan to keep this focused on MY experiences of parenthood, rather than on Tad’s own story (which I believe should be his to tell).  But the line between the two can get fuzzy.  As he gets bigger and has more of his own ideas about things, will he object to having so much of our family life reported on the internet?  And then there’s his potential reactions to my thoughts and feelings about parenthood; I know that it is perfectly normal for parents to have days when they are frustrated with parenthood, but does Tad really want to know everything that I think about him?  And even if I attempt to keep him from seeing this, it’s hard to predict what search engines or other technology will come along that could make it possible for him to find this blog in the future.

How weird is it that I want other people to read about my innermost thoughts, but that I would prefer that these people be strangers?  And isn’t it odd that I would prefer that my blog NOT become popular enough that people who I actually know might read it.  This internet thing is strange.

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Filed under blogging, Uncategorized