I have a longer (and whinier) post percolating about the physical and emotional discomforts of the first trimester. But I owe ya’ll an update so thought I would at least post this.
We were scheduled for our first ultrasound this Thursday, but because of some spotting were able to move it up to Monday. I was pretty anxious to begin with, but the spotting certainly made things worse. Roo came to the appointment and we met in the parking lot of BSFC so we could walk in together. After a few minutes in the waiting room we were called back. Before the physician assistant even started the ultrasound, she made sure to tell us that it was probably too early (at 5w5d) to see the heartbeat. She quickly found a yolk sac and our little Sprout,in the right place and measuring just right for his/her age at a whopping 0.22cm in length! And then she said the magical words, “look, you can see the heartbeat!” It was the faintest flutter but definitely there. It was such a relief! I started to let myself get a little excited, to think that the odds are good that we’ll bring home a baby in December. Roo and I giggled and held hands and I teared up a bit with the relief. And then Roo said, “I’m so happy about this. And I wish it were me.” I agreed–I wish so much that it was her too (and not just because I’d rather not be the queasy one)! She apologized for “spoiling the moment” But I assured her that she hadn’t. I think there will be a bittersweetness about many of these moments and that’s okay. The bitter doesn’t erase the sweet and there is room for both.