Thanks so much for all of the enthusiastic responses to my last post! I really appreciate all of your support! And I know that this news likely comes with complicated feelings for some of you.
Here are my betas so far:
Beta #1 (4/3/13): 69
Beta #2 (4/5/13): 202
Beta #3 (4/8/13): 992
Both doubling times were 31 hours.
For those of you who aren’t as immersed in this weird world, lots of fertility centers check your level of HCG (the pregnancy hormone) every few days for the first few weeks of pregnancy. They want to see it doubling every 31-72 hours. So the fact that mine is going up so quickly (and consistently) is a good sign. I know it’s not a guarantee, but I’m chosing to take comfort in it.
It’s weird to be in this world of so much monitoring. When I got pregnant with Tadpole we were working with the low-intervention Dr. A. We took a home test and when it was positive we called him up. He said, “Great! Make an appointment with your OB and call me when you’re ready to have another one.” The OB didn’t want to see us until 8 weeks. They seemed to feel that if anything was going to go wrong earlier than that, there wouldn’t be anything they could do about it anyway. The only reason we had a 6 week ultrasound was that I was having some spotting–and even then it took some freaking out over the phone to convince them to let us make the appointment.
I haven’t figured out whether the constant monitoring this time around decreases or increases my anxiety. So far I’ve felt better after getting each set of test results, but have done a little freaking out in the lead-up to the appointment. The extra monitoring did let me know that my progesterone was a little low–but they weren’t initially going to test it. I don’t know if they forgot that I was doing an unmedicated cycle or what happened, but I had to request the test. I’m glad I asked them to (and am glad that my obsessive blog reading has had the helpful side effect of absorbing random information like the fact that this might be a good idea). It turned out to be a little low so now I get to supplement. It seems odd that they’re obsessively monitoring my HCG (even though there isn’t anything they can do if it doesn’t go up the way we want it to) but they forgot to check my progesterone (which we can actually fix).
I know that it is still very early and anything can happen. But this is closer to a new baby than we’ve been in a very very long time. I think my most prominent feeling is relief. This may be a cheesy metaphor, but it feels like we’ve been stuck in the train station for so long, watching train after train leave without us. Now we’re finally on the train! It suddenly matters much less that some folks are a few cars ahead of us (like my college friend who had her baby last week, or my local friend who is due in July). I’m perfectly content to be in the caboose as long as we’re not still stuck in the station. And am very hopeful that many of you will be on this train right behind us!