Our first ever attempt at having a baby was in March five years ago. Easter was early that year as well, and we found out on Easter morning that it hadn’t worked. We were so disappointed! It was particularly hard to get the news on the same day that we were celebrating a holiday full of all things pastel and baby-chick-related. And of course we had Easter dinner at my in-laws’ with my uber-fertile sister-in-law who already had two kids, less than 18 months apart.
Because of my wonky cycle, we won’t find out for sure if I’m pregnant this time until just after Easter (blood test on Wednesday, home test at some as-yet-undetermined time before then). And we’ll spend Easter Sunday with my sister-in-law again, this time very pregnant with their fourth kid (she’s having a scheduled c-section in 2 1/2 weeks!).
In some ways this time around is harder. I feel much older, more tired, more jaded. The last year and a half of TTC has been a tough slog for Roo and me. And we’re in the midst of grieving about the fact that Roo won’t be pregnant.
But! I’m continuing to have ginormous (for me) boobs. I am feeling really optimistic about our chances this cycle. And it helps so much to remember that the cycle after Easter five years ago was the one that brought us the amazing Tadpole. So even if this cycle isn’t it, our amazing kid could still be just around the corner.