I know I would if I were reading this instead of experiencing it.
I told myself that I wasn’t going to pay any attention to possible “pregnancy symptoms” for at least the first week of the TWW. I thought I was prepared to ignore whatever “symptoms” arose and be okay with not knowing anything until we tested. And then on Saturday someone accidentally brushed against my breast and it hurt! I didn’t think much about it, given that it was only 3 days after my IUI. But later in the day I noticed that my bra was feeling tight. And that I was having weird aches and pains in my breasts–kind of like how I remember feeling when I was expressing milk and really needed to pump. Every day since Saturday my breasts have continued to ache and feel really full and to be really big. Well, big for me anyway.
See, my breasts are small. They are small all of the time. They don’t change when I have PMS or around ovulation or anything. The only other time they have been like this was when I was pregnant with Tadpole. Bigger breasts was the very first symptom that I noticed back then, but it was probably at 11 or 12 dpo (I’ve been thinking I should dig out my journal from back then to see how everything compares). 4dpo feels a little ridiculous.
I feel like one of the women who I see in various online forums who wonder if the weird twinge they felt in their big toe on CD10 could be a sign of pregnancy. I totally sympathize with these women’s desire to know about whether or not they are pregnant. But I’ve been on this roller coaster long enough to know that it isn’t always hopeful to start getting too excited about things before an actual pregnancy test.
Most information out there says that there is no way to have pregnancy symptoms this early–that an embryo generally hasn’t even implanted by 4DPO, never mind making enough hormones to make things change in someone’s body. And yet some of these symptoms are pretty hard to ignore, and they’re not something I could be making up. It’s not like I’m poking my breasts to see if they’re sore and the complaining of soreness–they’re just sore by themselves, even when I’m not paying any attention to them. It’s not like I’m thinking of heartburn as a possible pregnancy symptom right after eating a giant bowl of chili. I don’t think I could manufacture the current size differential between my bra and my breasts.
I feel a little shy talking about my bo.oobs with the whole internet, but I’m having a hard time figuring out what to do with this weird stuff that’s happening to my body. How do I make sense of it? And how do I keep from getting my hopes up too much?
ETA: I realized I should also mention that I’m not on any meds this cycle (no Clomid, no trigger shot, no progesterone) so those aren’t an explanation for this weirdness either.