“So, what’s new with you?”

I talked to my younger brother on the phone tonight.  He’s planning a crazy trip around the country with his girlfriend to visit the various places where he might attend graduate school.  It sounds like the trip will include about six different modes of transportation and sleeping on the couches of strangers and finding their way around unfamiliar cities.  I’m really really happy for him.  He has been pondering graduate school for years, and I’m so excited that he’s gotten himself this far.  Plus I’m fond of his girlfriend and thrilled that he has someone to go on these adventures with.

But I realized tonight that I’m also really jealous.  Maybe not about the sleeping-on-strangers’-couches part, but about the adventures that await him.  He’ll come back from this trip with all sorts of stories to tell about the places he saw and the unusual people he encountered.  And then he and his girlfriend will move to a new city and he’ll start a new program and they’ll find fun things to do in their new town.

I love my life.  I had a very satisfying day at work today, and a cozy bathtime with Tad this evening, and a lovely conversation with Roo after he was in bed.  The logical part of me is happy to not have the anxiety that comes with major life changes like deciding which graduate program is best or finding a job when unemployed or making friends in a new city. But I’m really tired of having nothing to say when acquaintances ask me, “so what’s new?”.  The huge giant major thing that’s happening is the TTC process, but we’re only talking about that with a few close friends.  And even that is moving slowly–I went in for CD12 monitoring on Monday and they told me not to bother coming back until Friday.

Of course my reaction to my brother’s news isn’t really about wanting to have interesting things to say at cocktail parties (especially given how few cocktail parties I attend these days…) or about wanting to move across the country.  It’s about wanting to have new and interesting things to look forward to.

I have done a few things.  I’ve started a craft project, which is fun–I’m making stuffed bunnies for my multitude of pregnant friends.  Another friend has invited Roo and me to go to an Indigo Girls concert with her this summer, so I think we’ll do that.   The lovely spring weather is reminding me that there will be fun family adventures to be had outside as things get warmer. I’m trying to figure out a weekend trip somewhere close by. But it’s hard to find the time, energy or money to put towards other adventures when we’re directing so much of those resources into the TTC process (and raising the kid we already have and keeping our house from falling down around our ears).  Even though it’s hard, though, I need to find a way to create some other good things in my life.  What do you do to keep things new and fresh in your life?

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12 Comments

Filed under Tadpole, TTC #2, Uncategorized

12 responses to ““So, what’s new with you?”

  1. I hear you! I think these same things when I look down my Facebook page and the only pictures that are there are pictures of our daughter. When did I become THAT person? Then I realize that of course those are the only pictures there, it is ALL I have done since we brought her home. Sometimes I wish there was something more interesting and then other times I am content in knowing that she is what I have fought so hard to find for all this time. But, still, I agree, it would be nice to have SOMETHING else to share when the dreaded, “So what’s going on?” Comes along. So I guess I have no advice, just agreement, for you.

  2. Here, here! I know that feeling. The Indigo Girls concert sounds lovely (we’re looking forward to Tanglewood)! Hm, my ideas for keeping myself inspired? Make a Pinterest board called “Make” and commit to actually making things (even if it’s a new recipe). I always scoop up the surrounding towns Adult Education catalogues and think I’ll sign up for a course – but admittedly, have yet to do so. Paint a room a different color for a mere $30. Buy inexpensive tickets for something a few months in advance just to have it on your “things to look forward to” list. We eat out at restaurants at least twice a week just to feel like part of society (even though we’re in and out with a flash with a toddler). Then at least you can say to people “oh, have you tried the ____ at _____?” Last but not least, I find that reading the New Yorker gives me lots to talk about with others.

  3. I also have trouble with the question “What’s new?” Mainly because TTC has consumed a lot of my time and energy since the summer and it’s hard to think of anything else when you’re stuck on this one BIG thing that you aren’t talking about. And also because my life is pretty boring (in a good way). I usually stare blankly before answering something mundane like, “I painted the laundry room!’

  4. I wrote recently about how, if we have another child, there will not be another big milestone in our life for many years, and even then they will belong to our child(ren). We will just be co-opting their big events.

    It is strange to reach that place in your life where you’ve basically arrived. So much of the first 30 years is preparing for the rest of your life and then when you arrive there, and there is no more preparing (no more big commitments like marriage, no more education to pursue, like grad school, no more children being born), you are just faced with the rest of your life. And it’s a strange transition to make, to that place of not transitioning anymore, to that place of being on the other side of all the big transitions and just… living life.

    I haven’t really made peace with that place in my life yet. I’m not sure quite how I will.

  5. A

    Well, in many ways I’m in the thick of decision making, planning, sorting out my life and girl it is exhausting. I’m pooped!

    I have one pretty simple idea, that came from this post on apartment therapy http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/10-things-that-will-make-you-happier-at-home-174151. Have you printed many of your photos from your trip to Italy? If not, maybe you and Roo and Tad (to the extent he’s able to gaze at pictures of things not red and shiny!) choose and print your favorites, and put them all over the house. It’s amazing how much joy I get from looking through my photos on my computer, and I realized that I’m totally missing out on cheap, every day joy by not having them hanging all over my house.

    • Oooh, that’s a really good idea! Thanks! We’re way behind on getting any of our photos printed out or put into albums, but this would definitely be worth doing. It might require re-arranging and re-thinking some of the other art that’s on our very-full walls, but that could be good too.

  6. I could have written this. My little sister is am adventurer. She just moved over here, to the capital city I used to live in. So she’s off exploring new places and doing Big Things! So I have that tinge of jealously, but also a heavy case of nostalgia for all I was ten years ago.

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