Plan L

I haven’t written in a while because I haven’t been sure what to say.  A little more than a week ago I started a post about moving forward with our IVF plans and impersonating Roo in order to try to get a price quote on medication from various online pharmacies.  And then that evening I was doing errands when Roo called, saying she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to do IVF.  We’ve talked more in the last week, and have decided on a new plan.  It’s been an incredibly difficult decision because Roo reallyreallyreally wants to be pregnant.  But there are a lot of reasons why the IVF process (which is not exactly a picnic for anyone) would be extra-hard for her.  She has been so brave throughout our TTC adventures and I absolutely support her making the decision that’s right for her.

So the new plan is that we’ll do one or two more IUIs with her, and then switch to trying with me.  We’ve only done two monitored/clomid IUIs, so it seems reasonable to try a few more.  If that doesn’t work, I’ll do a few IUIs–maybe 3 or 4–I’m not sure how many I could take.  And then we’ll move on to IVF with me.  My parents have agreed to help us out financially so that we can move through these steps as quickly as possible.

I’m very sad that we’re looking at the possibility of Roo not getting pregnant.  And I’m sad that the process will likely drag on longer.  I’m nervous about being the Emergency Back-Up Uterus.  But it’s good to finally have a plan, and it feels like the right plan for us.

I spent much of the last week back in limbo as we continued to work out our new plan, but it was a surprisingly nice week.  My birthday was last weekend, and it included breakfast in bed (brought to me by Roo and a plastic-trumpet-playing Tadpole), and some lovely time in the house by myself while Roo and Tad did the grocery shopping.  We bought our Solstice/Christmas tree last weekend and had a cozy time putting it up this afternoon.

In the midst of this crazy emotion-filled time I feel very close to my little family and am looking forward to a lot of time together in a few weeks.  We’re all off from school/work from December 20th through January 1st.  I may be stir-crazy and bored a few days in, but right now the break sounds great.  And sometime soon we’ll do something that will hopefully bring us closer to a baby.  I think the prospect of doing something new (even if it’s just IUIs with me, which doesn’t necessarily bring us any better odds statistically speaking) feels good.

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12 Comments

Filed under TTC #2, Uncategorized

12 responses to “Plan L

  1. I am so confident that not too long from now you will be looking at your perfect baby #2, thinking, “I’m so glad it worked out like THAT.” No matter how “that” is.

  2. e10stix

    This sounds like a good plan! Its so hard to know when is the “right” time to switch bodies, but it sounds like the decision is coming from Roo, and you guys are making it based on a lot of important factors…

  3. tbean

    Sounds like a good plan. IVF is very intense and if Roo knows it isn’t the right next step for her, better to decide that now than go through all the agony of the process.

  4. Yarg. I am glad Roo was honest about not being up for IVF. Loads of people aren’t up for it, and I think there’s a lot of pressure to just move forward. So good on her. But oh, how sad that she might have to give up something she really wanted. I have no idea what it’s like to watch your partner be pregnant when it’s something you wanted to experience, I imagine there are all sorts of nuanced feelings that are indescribably complex. But I know it was hard for me to watch friends go through it. Sure, it’s different, but my heart still goes out to her. I hope it doesn’t come to that. In the meantime, I hope you guys have a wonderful couple of weeks of super intensive family bonding! Yay!

  5. A

    I’m glad you are both feeling good about your plan, and hope that the break is a relaxing respite from all the decision making and the day to day grind of managing multiple roles.

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