Fortunately, Unfortunately

There’s a game that I’ve seen played on various (mostly British) sitcoms called “Fortunately, Unfortunately.”  Players tell a silly story together by taking turns making statements that start with “fortunately ____” and “unfortunately ____.”  The protagonist is rapidly gotten into and out of various ridiculous perils.  Here’s our not-so-silly version:

Fortunately, we heard back from Roo’s health insurance.

Unfortunately, they are refusing to cover IVF because we’re using donor sperm.

Fortunately, the big storm didn’t hit us very badly.  I had a whole plan for how we would deal with our food when the power went out, but I didn’t have to use it.

Unfortunately, we did have a leak in the ceiling where our kitchen is attached to the rest of the house.  We don’t know yet if home insurance will help with this and how much time/money it will take to sort out.

Fortunately, we had two extra cozy days at home because of the storm.

Unfortunately, we found out on Sunday night that IUI #6 was negative.

Fortunately, it was nice to have a little time to digest the news without having to be functional at work.

Unfortunately, it was hard to have so much unstructured time to brood and to try to keep our upset away fom an ever-present Tadpole.

Fortunately we all went back to school/work on Wednesday, and Tadpole made an adorable firefighter at his school’s halloween parade.

Unfortunately, at the parade the parents of one of Tad’s friends (and some of our closest friends from his class) mentioned that they are pregnant.

We’re feeling pretty down right now.  We have an appointment next week to figure out what our options are, but none of them feel great.  We’ve used up all 6 IUI cycles that are covered by insurance, so even if we stick with IUIs they will be significantly more expensive.  And I have no idea how we’d afford IVF unless we borrow a lot of money or see if my parents are willing/able to help us.  Our next steps will likely start with at least one surgery for Roo to figure out what’s going on with the polyps.  There’s so much to look forward to…

We’ve discussed the possibility of switching to trying with me.  It would be the cheaper route (given that I’d be starting over with 6 IUIs covered by insurance).  But it’s not what we want.  I really want to watch a kiddo grow in Roo’s belly.  She really wants to experience pregnancy.  We both want to have a little one with her curls.  We’re just not sure how we’ll get there from here.

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13 Comments

Filed under Tadpole, TTC #2, Uncategorized

13 responses to “Fortunately, Unfortunately

  1. e10stix

    UGG, we are right there with you.. Feeling that there are no ‘good’ options and torn between hard decisions.

  2. Aaaarg. So terribly sorry. I’ve been thinking of you, hoping for good news. My sympathies to Roo, who must be so dreadfully SICK of all of this. As hard as it must be, I’m glad you know what you guys want and are staying strong.

  3. Gnar. I’m so sorry. This whole slog is so painful and exhausting.

    Have you/Roo talked to HR with whatever employer carries your insurance? It took some squeaky-wheeling for us to get language explicitly covering IVF for same-sex partners into our health insurance language. Luckily, my employer was supportive, so it (eventually) happened.

    fx for you.

  4. I’m really sorry that IUI hasn’t been working out for you… I hope that a big “fortunately” will be coming up soon.

  5. I’ve never explicitly heard of that game, but I feel like I know it well, all the same.

    I’m sorry. I’m sorry this cycle didn’t work out, and I’m sorry that you’re having health insurance woes. They suck. I know.

    And I’m sorry that you found out about someone else’s pregnancy right after finding out about yet another failed cycle. That’s hard, even if you’re happy for the other people. My co-worker said something a couple of days ago about how she and her husband were talking about having a baby in the next year or two, and I thought “So help me, if you get pregnant before me I will completely lose it.” (Actually, to be totally honest, my first thoughts kind of involved violence, but that may have something to do with the fact that this co-worker kind of gets on my nerves even at the best of times.)

  6. !!! No IVF because of donor sperm is such utter bullshit! I am so pissed on your behalf.

    I’m glad you got through the storm safely. I hope for more fortunatelys in your immediate future.

  7. Wen

    Oh…:( sounds like a trudge 😦 just keep swimming!

  8. That does sound like a shitty policy. Does that mean that an opposite-sex couple who needs donor sperm would have to pay for the whole thing out of pocket?

    Oof. I hope you get some kind of good news at the appointment and/or that the way forward soon becomes clear.

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